EP 349 - What It Really Takes to Build a Coaching Business After 50
If you're a woman over 50 building a coaching business and you've been wondering why it feels harder than you expected, this video is the honest conversation you've been needing. I'm not selling you a shortcut. I'm telling you what it actually takes so you stop feeling like something is wrong with you when the work shows up.
If you're new to my channel, my name is Debbie Shadid. I'm a Business Growth and Life Coach and the founder of the Business Building Boutique. For over two decades, I've helped women learn how to become coaches, get clients, grow their businesses, and create meaningful income doing work they love.
I went online thinking it was going to be a money machine. I was eighteen years into running a business and I still believed somehow that "online coach" meant the income would just show up. It didn't. And the gap between what I expected and what was actually required almost stopped me. I don't want that for you.
In this episode, we'll walk through:
Why building an online coaching business is no different than building a brick and mortar business (and what that means for your timeline)
The mindset traps that keep coaches stuck in niche land forever and how to spot them in yourself
Why bravery is the real skill behind every successful coaching business
How to use an evidence bank to push back against the nonsense in your head
Why your business is 100% your responsibility and what changes the moment you accept that
How to honestly assess your capacity when you've got grandkids, aging parents, or a full time job
What it actually feels like on the other side when you refuse to quit
This isn't a feel-good pep talk. It's the truth about what it takes, why most coaches give up, and what the women who make it have in common. If you've been wondering whether you have what it takes, this video will give you a real answer.
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Listen to the Podcast:
Life Coach Business Building School Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/life-coach-business-building-school-with-debbie-shadid/id1502118085
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Transcript
What does it take to actually grow a coaching business? If you're a woman over fifty, I just want to shoot you straight today. We just had an incredible day of coaching, and I want to share some of the coaching, some of the conversation that we had today, because I think it's going to be super useful for you. The first thing is, I want to be honest with you that it takes work to build a business. It takes probably more work than what you have in mind. I know for me, even after being in business for many years, when I went fully online, I had this perspective, like being in an online business was like a money machine. I didn't have to do anything. I could just say I was a coach, and I'd been in business for eighteen years as a consultant before I went online, and I still thought somehow, like, I'm going to say I'm an online coach and the money is going to start just flying in. I don't know where it was coming from, but that's what I thought. And I know probably some of you guys feel that way. And so it's like we set ourself up for disappointment right away. We're almost right away feeling like, ugh, something's wrong with me. I'm not doing good enough. So it does take work, and it takes time because building an online business is actually no different than building a regular business. When I talk about building a boutique-style coaching business, I am trying to say it's like a business, like a brick-and-mortar building. If you think about that, you'll realize, okay, it takes time to build that business. It takes time to build this business too. I have to tell you, I'm going to go through a lot of things today, but the end is, having a coaching business online that you actually take the time to build is the most incredible experience ever. There's no words for me to say ugh, how inspiring, how good you feel when you actually do this and how your soul is just filled with, happiness and gratitude and, wow, just love for what you're doing when you take the time to build your business. I think the biggest thing that you think you need right now probably is strategy. And look, that's what we all think, and that is actually what I do. I teach people the strategy of how to get clients. One missing piece, though, that I talk about some that I think you're not realizing is you actually need a lot of mind management. While you are working on the strategy of building your business, you are not going to believe how many mindset issues come up, and if you're not onto yourself about it, if you're not aware of it, they could actually really be slowing you down, almost creating roadblocks. And if you don't know that, you won't catch them. Like, people love to stay stuck in niche land, forever. They're like talking about their niche forever. Well, what happens when you decide on your niche, my friend? Once you decide on your niche, that means you actually have to take the next step, which is to tell that person, your niche client, that you could help them. Like, that's like declaring I'm in business. So it's easy to say Like non-consciously, like I'm working on my niche. That's the safest place to be is in, what is it? Like never land for your niche. So that's one thing, mindset. Then there's the part of putting yourself out there where you're like, "I hate being on camera." Guess what? I'm not gonna say that it gets easier. What I'm gonna say is that you care less. At some point, you decide that what you're doing, is more important than the discomfort that you experience by being on camera. You're like, "Okay, I, I don't care. Doesn't matter what I look like, kinda doesn't matter what I sound like." I mean, it matters, but I'm just saying to you, you have to feel that way. Just a couple of minutes ago, I, for the first time, did a live on Substack. I just got on Substack about a month ago, and here's my thing. I don't have the team that works for me, which thank God I have one, but I don't have those guys do my new things. I have to learn the new things myself, just like you have to learn the new things yourself. It keeps me really in touch with how you're feeling, truthfully, because I went live on Substack, and I was like, "Wait, I don't actually know how to do this." But here's the thing. At this point, what I know is I can either study it, try to figure it out, try to make sure I'm doing it right, I should've tested on my phone, like made sure am I actually live. I don't know. I just went live anyway 'cause it was either take the time to do it and figure it out or just do it, and I chose I'm just gonna do it. What I know and what I want you to know and maybe adopt if you can, there's discomfort that comes with building a business. There's embarrassment. There's some... I don't wanna say shame, like feel bad shame, but there's this like, "Oh, gosh, what if I do it wrong?" kind of feeling. Maybe shame's the wrong word, but you just have to get past that, where it's like I'm just gonna do it anyway, and there's nothing that is so bad that I can do wrong that's gonna hurt anything, right? Except for the way I feel. That's all. Like the only person that's gonna be really embarrassed is me, and guess what? I can remove that post on Substack if I want to. If it's that terrible, I'll just take it down. But I also know it doesn't really matter that much. I know we're all humans. We're all just trying to figure it out, no matter where we are in business. I've been in business all these years. I have a great business, but Substack's new. So can you adopt that attitude? That's what I'm talking about. The mindset work that I do is where I'm like, look, was I nervous a little bit? Yeah. Did I have a moment of like, "Oh, don't do it"? I did, 'cause I almost thought about it too long. You guys can probably relate. You think about things so long you talk yourself out of it, or you think you should get ready. just decided, nope, I'm doing it. I do it with a little bit of nerves. So if I get on, and I was even having these thoughts like, okay, the first few words that I'm gonna say are gonna sound kind of breathy because I'm feeling nervous. It's like, okay, that's silly. Who cares if I sound that way? That's actually how you build a business, is you decide to do things, you do it whether you're scared, you do it whether, it's gonna be good or not, because the only way you ever get better at doing it is by doing it. So it takes work, it takes bold action, it takes bravery. Bravery. If there was like, a word that you have to be to build a business, it's brave. Like, courage, putting yourself out there. So there is mindset work that goes at every single turn. You're gonna come up against, "What if I'm not good at helping people with that one thing?" Well, guess what? You're not gonna be good at helping everybody with everything. You just remind yourself that there are a lot of things that you are really good at, or you would not have been starting this business. You have 50-plus years of life experience where you have lived a full life, where you have accomplished a lot of things, where you have overcome things. I guarantee you, there's so much that you already know that you already are well qualified. But all of that is mindset work. It takes that constant, repetitive, mindset work where you are telling yourself, I can do this. I'm qualified. I deserve to be having a business. I can work with clients, and I can make a difference." You also have to believe that you're good enough to get paid. I know it sounds ludicrous because most of you are thinking, "Of course I'm gonna make $100,000." Then when you try to charge your first hundred, or if you're not charging yet, I would actually ask you, "What is the deal? Why are you not charging yet?" Because chances are there's something coming up around money. We had a beautiful client conversation today that I wanna share with you because I think it's so important for you to hear it because it will help you realize how normal it is that you're feeling. We were talking about the client's offer, and she made an offer for one session at a particular price. And while I could have said, "You know, that's not very much money and you're not gonna get to your goal that way," I could have said that, but what I know is that client picked that price and said that to me because that's probably where she felt more comfortable. So I ask her, "Do you feel good about that price?" And she was like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Is that the price that you can sell right now for one hour of service?" "Yes." everybody has to start where they are. If you've not made $100 yet in your coaching business, your first goal should be to make $100. How do you make $100? By selling one or two or three hours of coaching for 100 bucks, whatever you decide. You do that and do several of those, and you'll decide, you know what? I don't wanna work for, let's say, $100 for one hour. You'll decide, I don't wanna do that, and you'll raise your price. So there is a lot of mindset work, and this is gonna be ongoing. Something else I talk a lot about is the evidence bank. I want you to build an evidence bank. Every time you get positive feedback, every time somebody says, "Wow, you're really good at that," every time, you get a like on a post, every time somebody gives you an email address to subscribe to your newsletter, what you do is you write that down in your evidence bank. Your evidence bank is what you refer back to when you are thinking this isn't working. You show yourself, "Oh, wait, actually somebody liked my post. Oh, wait, somebody gave me their email address. Oh, wait, I've sold coaching already." Because half the time, you're gonna be dealing with this nonsense of it's not working, nobody thinks this is any good, you're not qualified. I hope that's not the case, And actually, I'm gonna say from my own experience, is half the time you do have a lot of nonsense going on in your mind. Okay. Something else I wanna bring to your attention is your business is your responsibility. When it comes to my coaching, while I work with a team, the only person that is responsible for my business is me. The only person that is the driver the coach, the marketer, all the responsibility goes on me, whether it's somebody else taking care of it or not. So I want you to take full responsibility for where you are in your business and full responsibility for your business always. Because when you do that, then you show up in your business differently. You're like, "Yep, it's on me, so that means I'm also gonna correct it. That also means I hold the power to everything. I hold the power to making the money. I hold the power to making the decisions. I am the driver in this business." Okay. Let's be honest about what is happening in your life. As a woman over 50, many of you might have children at home. Depends on where you are. Are you 50, 60, 70, or beyond? If you're in your 50s, you might have kids at home still. If you're in your 60s, you probably don't have kids at home unless they came back home, but you might have grandkids downstairs like I do. You also might be taking care of family. You might have parents or other aging relatives that you're still taking care of. All of that takes time. So as you are starting your business, what do you actually have capacity for based on what you have already going on in your life? This is an important distinction to make because maybe you're trying to start your business when it doesn't even make sense, I want you to start your business today. I don't want you to wait, but I also want you to be honest with yourself. Maybe today isn't the day that you have coaching calls. Maybe today you start your business and you start building a following, you start building a reputation, you start building a business that is like after hours, after your grandkids are out of your house or after the person that you're taking care of. You know, if you're taking care of a family member, they're already in bed, right? Maybe there's only that time to build your business right now, so you have to do what makes sense for your business today. If you are working full-time, and many of you are, and this is like your exit strategy to get a coaching business built as you leave your career, then maybe you decide, "Look, I'm gonna give ten hours of the time that I have off to my business. That's all that makes sense because I still work full-time. I have a family. I have laundry. I have all the other things," so you decide what really makes sense. That's actually how you set yourself up for success. Long term in your business, there's gonna be seasons to your business, just like there is to anything else. So we all have things going on, so you have to look at what your capacity is, and you plan far in advance. Maybe the next six months, all you have the capacity to do is social media, and you make a commitment to do that. You decide, you know what, all the other things that have to do with building a business, getting clients, I'm not gonna work on that right now because I don't actually have the ability to do that. what I do have the ability to do and what I can control is that I will post on social media every day between now and the end of the year. Pick something and set yourself up for success by having the capacity to do it. Okay. The next question I have for you is, are you willing to stick it out? When it comes to your business, are you willing to stick it out long enough to get to where you want to go to? this incredible experience that you have when you have this business that you love, that you did the work, you stuck it out. It's just like a marriage, right? You get to celebrate your twenty-fifth anniversary, and your kids are grown, and you're like, "This was so great." No, it wasn't great all the time. There was ups and downs, right? Just like a career. Your career's up and down and all around, but did you stick it out? If you are willing to do that with your coaching business, you'll get to the other side, and it will be victory, and you'll be like, "Wow, this is great." of course, there's ebbs and flows, there's ups and downs, and that's okay because that's just the way it is. Life happens in cycles. Everything happens in cycles, and so will your business. But you have to be willing to stick it out. That's where the commitment comes in because here's the deal, you don't have a boss that you're committed to for a paycheck. You don't have that, like, I'm working towards retirement, whatever the retirement date is. When you have your own business- You have your clients that matter, but You have to be the one to stick it out because there's nobody that's making you stick it out. There's nobody who can make you do this except for yourself. So are you willing to stick it out? And here's the thing, what happens when you stick it out? Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to explain it to you. I say this all the time, the ones who win don't quit. But the ones who win, they get to experience the deepest satisfaction of knowing that you're making a difference. You'll have those coaching calls that turn out like you're dreaming about right now. That coaching call where you're like,"I know I can make a difference to somebody." You'll have those where you are like, " This is so great." You'll go to bed, and you'll just be feeling like so inspired. That only happens when you do the work. It only happens when you do the work anyway. The pride that you feel about yourself when you have learned the tech, when you have learned how to sell, When you have stuck to a price and not given some crazy discount'cause you were desperate. When you have shown up on social media, even when you were scared. When you have done all of those things, the amount of pride and satisfaction that you will have, oh my gosh, there's no way to even describe it. All of that is available to you, but it's only available to you if you do the work. It's only available to you if you don't quit. It's only available to you if you do the mindset work that is necessary. It takes a deep commitment, a serious commitment. You have to work hard. You have to work on your mindset every day. You have to overcome it. There is nothing else that is more satisfying than this. There's also nothing else that is more challenging than this, but it is so worth it. I hope that at the end of this conversation, you are still here and you are inspired, and you're like, "I'm gonna do it anyway. Thanks for being honest with me." That is my goal, is to shoot you straight about what it takes. If you are loving the honesty of this conversation, please subscribe. Stick around for more. I'm a truth teller. I'm on a mission to help you build an incredible coaching business, but I want you to know what it takes. The rewards are immeasurable. The satisfaction cannot even be... I don't know. I don't even know how you can count it what's gonna happen for you, but it takes work. All right, my friend, thank you so much. Have a beautiful day. Make sure you subscribe. Share this with a friend, and I do workshops where I teach you strategies for how to get clients for your coaching business without spending money on paid ads. debbieshadid.com/workshop. I'll see you guys there. Have a beautiful day. Bye-bye.
