185 - It's Time to Stop the Shame Game
Episode 185 of the Life Coach Business Building Podcast
Are you feeling stuck in your business journey? It's okay, we've all been there, but let me tell you – you're capable of more than you ever imagine. If you put an end to the self-doubt and begin to be kinder to yourself, you will find that you can build your business faster.
In this week's episode, let's dive into how to overcome business-building shame and discover 12 essential skills to create a business you'll truly enjoy. We’ll explore everything from conquering the discomfort of networking to mastering tech and excelling in sales.
Let go of perfectionism, elevate your professionalism, and be open. Because when you open up yourself to the world, you know what happens? You have the possibility of coaching people worldwide.
Tune in to learn more about how to break free from shame and finally piece together the puzzle of how to have more success for your coaching business.
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Transcript
Preview: Let me tell you, as soon as you have an online business, somebody is going to tell you exactly what you should do, or exactly what's wrong with you, or exactly how you should be smiling, or exactly how you should be looking. Someone will decide that they think that you need to know something that's really not important. So you are opening yourself up to the world. When you decide that you are willing to publicly expose yourself and when you open up yourself to the world, you know what happens, you guys? You have the possibility of coaching people worldwide.
Intro: Hello, I'm Debbie Shadid, the host of the Life Coach Business Building podcast. If you are ready to have more clients in your life coach business, then you're in the right spot. Each week I'm gonna teach you super simple strategies to grow your business without feeling overwhelmed and without spending money on paid ads. If that sounds interesting. Stick around and let's get started.
Today, we're going to talk about the shame game. And I want to invite you to listen. I want to invite you to think about where you feel shame about your business. And I just want to say, let's stop the shame. Nothing, nothing has gone wrong. Chances are you're not where you want to be in your business and some of that is because you really just didn't know and maybe you still don't know what to do.
So today I want to talk about 12 different skills that I think if you'll jot these down and work on these skills, I really think that it will help you create a business that you really can enjoy. I had a consultation today and the lady said the most brilliant thing that really got me thinking about this podcast. She said, You know, I've been working on my perfectionism. And she said, but you know really what it is? It's professionalism. And I was like, Okay, that is the most brilliant thing. I think if you're listening to my podcast, chances are you're here because you're interested in the professional brand image that I talk about in the Canva workshop. If you have not seen the Canva workshop, go to my website, debbieshadid.com and there is a training session right in the top bar where you can watch my Canva training.
Perfectionism is what we think we have, which is keeping us from doing what it is we need to do to build our business. That perfectionism characteristic that we're saying is bad and what I want to say is I think it's probably good. And as this lady was talking about on the consult, she just wants to be professional. She wants to be taken seriously. And I know that you probably do too. That is what I help women do inside the Business Building Boutique. So let's talk about your coaching business. Let me give you 12 different things that I think that you need to be able to do, maybe 12 skills, 12 areas that you need to work on really to be able to have the business that you want.
Number one, it's very obvious, but you need to be able to coach, alright? That is not something that I help people with, but if you are feeling shame and you are not getting the results that you want, maybe your coaching skill is the problem. Now, coaching skill is not determined by a certification. Although education is important, your coaching ability is what will ultimately be the thing that will drive your business success. So you do want to be a good coach. So if you need coaching help to be able to be better at coaching, then go get some support.
All right. Number two, you have to have the willingness to tell people what you do. Now, many of you guys are telling everyone that you know that are peers in the coaching business, or you're telling me on consultation calls or in any other coaching programs, you're like, Oh yeah, I'm going to be a coach and I'm going to make this much money. And so I'm going to help people, right? You're talking the big talk, but you're not actually telling anyone around you. And I will tell you that once you go beyond telling the safe community of other coaches or people who get you once you go beyond that, and you start talking to people, it will really help you, right?
You've got to get over the discomfort of talking to people, but you have to also be able to effectively describe what you do. One of the most beautiful things about talking to people in person is that you get to read their body language. You get to see, you know, whatever you say, how they respond to it. You get to get questions back. It's a really good way to see how comfortable you are with what you're doing. And if you are lacking confidence in that area, then get some help. It's not necessarily a mindset issue. It's more an issue of you don't know how to communicate about your coaching. What I find time and time again, people will go to networking events, but they have this major discomfort about telling people what they do. And it's mostly because they don't know how to talk about it.
All right. Number three. You have to be willing to publicly expose yourself. Now that sounds terrible. I sometimes say like you have to be like a streaker. Does anybody remember the streakers in the 70s? You have to be willing to run down the street naked and let everybody see you, okay? This is really the truth. You have to be willing to be embarrassed. You have to be willing again to feel the discomfort. You have to be willing to be judged b y others. And let me tell you, as soon as you have an online business, somebody is going to tell you exactly what you should do, or exactly what's wrong with you, or exactly how you should be smiling, or exactly how you should be looking.
Someone will decide that they think that you need to know something that's really not important. So you are opening yourself up to the world. When you decide that you are willing to publicly expose yourself and when you open up yourself to the world, you know what happens, you guys? You have the possibility of coaching people worldwide.
All right. Number four, you have to ask people to work with you. You have to ask people to have a consultation with you. You have to ask people to connect with you. You have to ask people to give you your email address. You have to ask for something from people. You have to ask people to pay you. You have to ask people to give you what your value is. You have to ask people to honor the decisions that you make in your business, like, no, we don't reschedule your coaching call this many times. I'm sorry, you bought four sessions and those four sessions must be used in six weeks, or you lose them, right? So you have to ask people to comply with your business policies.
All right, number five, you have to learn and then use tech. I know. I know. I know. You're saying, I didn't grow up with this kind of technology. And look, honestly, nobody did. Unless you have been in an online business, and it doesn't matter if you're 25, you still probably have not used a calendar like Calendly or Acuity. You probably have not used Canva. You probably have not used an email service provider like Flowdesk. You probably have never set up Stripe to take payments for your coaching. So even if you are young, chances are you have not done those things. Most of the women I work with are probably, you know, midlife, I'll just say, but also I have a handful of very young clients that also don't know how to do this stuff.
They're working with me because they want me to tell them and show them. So you have to learn the tech and then be willing to use it. Do not let that technology, the simple technology, right? Some people say, Well, you say it's simple and it's simple, but it's not easy. Okay. Whatever it is, you're a smart woman. If you can coach clients, you certainly can learn the technology.
All right. Number six, you have to learn how to write. And you're like, Oh brother, I know how to write, I know how to respond to emails, but listen, writing to people about your coaching is completely different. So you have to learn how to write social media posts. You have to learn how to write your website copy. You have to learn how to write to people in a way that compels them to schedule consultations, to have assessments with you, to become your clients. I just want to mention to you, there are people in this world that their entire job is copywriting. Their entire job is writing for coaches their emails.
So you have to learn a skill. All of the things I've talked about so far and all the things I'm going to finish with, all 12 of these skills are things that you have to learn. And they are actually full jobs that other people do for a living. So you have to learn how to write in a way that will support your coaching business.
Number seven, you have to learn how to manage clients. Yes, this is a skill too. You have to learn how to take the notes. I know this sounds so basic, but I get questions about this like, Where should I take notes? Oftentimes people are saying, I need a client management system. No, you don't. Okay? I have a lot of clients. I don't know what the count is at this moment, but I have a lot of clients, and I've had a lot of clients. I never had a client management system. I use a spreadsheet. I use Google documents to take my notes, but you have to learn how to do that. Y'all have to learn what am I going to do to bring on a client? What will be, quote, the onboarding process? What will be the offboarding process, right? How will my clients connect with me between our coaching sessions? So you have to manage clients.
Number eight, you have to keep your mindset, right? You have to remain determined, okay? If you do not manage your mindset and work on that, chances are you might get stuck. Raise your hand if you felt stuck. I hear this all the time. If you are stuck, it's a mindset issue. There's something that you're not addressing, some fear, some inadequacy, something that is keeping you in that same place, or you would keep moving forward.
So you have to figure out how to get punched in the gut, as I like to say, and just keep going. A punch in the gut might be that nobody schedules a consultation. Maybe it's that you host your first workshop and nobody comes, right? You do your first social media post or your first 90 days worth of social media posts and nobody responds. Yes, this is a reality. You guys, again, the ones who stick around are the ones who win. So you have to keep yourself, your mindset, this determination really going. You do that by self coaching. You do this by thinking about the obstacles that you are letting, stopping you from building your business.
Number nine, you have to be a time manager. This is for real, you guys. So many of the women that I work with and myself included have been over workers. You have to manage your time. There is no time clock. There is no boss that's saying, Hey, go home. You do not need to work all night. You do not need to work seven days a week. In fact, I can promise you and say, It's actually probably hurting you. Honestly, chances are, if you look at the things you need to do and you prioritize them, I used to say like, Let's just do three things this week, three things this week, three things next week, like that's how you build a business. It doesn't need to be a complete 20 things this week. Do three things really well. So you have to figure out what your schedule is going to be.
Listen, I got to keep outing myself here. You also have to be good with your clients. I used to overgive on my coaching time until recently, but you know who that hurts? It's the clients because they can't depend on me ending on time. They can't depend on me to do what I said I was going to do so that they can go on with their day because they have a schedule to keep. So I always thought, Well, I'm over delivering. I am over giving and over delivering. But really, it probably was messing up some of those people's days. So for those of you listening, who were my clients that I went over the schedule, I'm so sorry. I was confused about overdelivery, right? You can overdeliver in the time that you have promised to your clients.
The other time to do that is in consultations and sure, I'm still guilty of that today. I actually had three consultations today. I went just a few minutes over on all three of them, but the women had time. I had time. It did not conflict with anything else. A lot of times I'll say, are you okay with going over? Okay. So you have to be a planner. You have to plan your time. You have to plan your tasks. You have to plan, I'll even go so far to say it's your entire year. All right, be a time manager.
One of the ways that you become a good time manager is that you track how long it takes to do things. Do not underestimate the time it takes to do one social media post in Canva to schedule it and to write the caption. In the beginning, it might take you an hour, right? You guys know, but you'll get faster at that.
All right, number 10, you have to be organized. My goodness. Your file cabinet is your computer. That's where all the files are. You have to name things in a way that you can locate them again so that you can Google. So my organization isn't perfect, but I have things named in a way that I can always go to the search icon on my Mac computer and I can always find things. Okay, so make sure that you have things in proper places. I highly recommend that you start today by keeping organized files, because if you are building a business that's going to be that big successful business someday, you're going to have a team and your team has to access your file. All right, so make sure that they are in order.
You have to have your program materials for your clients organized. You have to have processes. You have to have the process to get your client the result organized, okay? So don't just wing it. Again, I'll go back to what the lady said today on this consultation call. I am not trying to be a perfectionist. I want to be a professional. Professionals know what the process is. Professionals are managing their time. Professionals are doing all the things that I have discussed so far.
All right. The last thing, and probably the most important is you have to be a salesperson. That's number 12, be a salesperson. If you do not sell your coaching, you will never be able to have a business. Nobody else can sell it for you. You have to sell your clients while they're working with you on the transformation that you are working to help them get, right? You have to sell your clients to believe in themselves, to sell your clients to do the work to come back next Tuesday for coaching, okay? So it's not just selling people for consultations, not just selling people that you're working with to do the work, but then there's also that selling them coaching and then asking for money.
So those are the 12 skills that I really want you to work on. I'll run through this quickly. Number one, coaching. Number two, be willing. Number three is to expose yourself publicly. Number four is to ask people to work with you. Number five is to learn and use tech. Number six is to learn how to write. Number seven, learn how to manage clients. Number eight, work on your mindset and remain determined. Number nine is to be a time manager. Number ten is to be organized. Number 11 is to be that planner and number 12, again, be a sales person.
All right, I hope that helps you as I really want to encourage you. Again, stop shaming yourself. You are learning how to be a woman who has a coaching company. This is not a skill that comes easy and all of the things that I talked about are all pieces to the puzzle that put together a successful coaching business.
All right, you guys, I hope that helps you have an amazing week and I'll see you guys very soon. Bye. Bye
Outro: Okay, ladies, that is it for today. Before we go, I want to invite you to head over to debbieshadid.com. I have this incredible Canva training, specifically designed for life coaches where I'm gonna teach you how to use Canva to create beautiful graphics to market your life coaching. All right. Have an amazing week. I'll talk to you very soon. Bye bye.