Ep 251 - The Secret to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Staying Consistent in Your Coaching Business | Self-Coaching Part 2
Self-doubt isn’t just a phase—it’s one of the biggest reasons coaches stay stuck. The difference between those who struggle and those who succeed isn’t talent or luck. It’s learning how to manage your mind and take action anyway.
In this episode, I’m sharing the self-coaching method I use to break through fear, imposter syndrome, and procrastination. You’ll learn how to shift limiting beliefs, build daily habits that keep you moving forward, and train yourself to stay consistent—no matter what doubts come up. Plus, I’ll introduce my simple Take 5 Method, a quick way to self-coach in just minutes a day.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
Why self-doubt happens even when you’re successful and how to handle it
The most common limiting beliefs that keep coaches stuck
How to shift your mindset in real-time so fear doesn’t hold you back
My Take 5 Method for self-coaching in just minutes a day
Practical steps to build confidence and stay consistent in your business
So if you’re working through self-doubt or just curious about how I do it, be sure to tune in and let’s work on your mindset blocks together!
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Transcript
Welcome to today's podcast. I'm going to talk about self coaching again, because I think this is so, so important. For your business. I know you're here to learn about business strategy, but I wanna tell you that *my secret weapon when it comes to business strategy is self coaching.* I really think that we are our own worst enemy in our business.
So if you feel like you need to overcome doubt, if you have.
that you're either not going to reach your goals or you're going to look bad on social media I know you feel in the blank, that your business will never work, somebody's going to say no all of the things that you're worried about, let's talk about those today I want you to learn the secret to making multiple thousands of dollars more than what you currently are making and I will tell you that self coaching is the answer.
I know you want strategy and I've got all the strategies in the world so come back next week and get those but today let's really dive into self coaching. So as a coach or an expert or even a therapist you might be thinking Mindset should not be my issue and mindset isn't my issue, Debbie. But don't stop the podcast.
Listen up. a business is much harder than what you expected. And I know that you're thinking, Dang, there's a lot to learn here. It's going slower than I thought. You know, people aren't responding to my posts the way I thought, and maybe you even feel embarrassed about even being a coach.
Like you told people you were going to do this, and here you are. You're not doing anything. You know something needs to change, but you're not even sure what the solution is. What I know for sure is that building a business has probably required more of you than you ever expected. Most of us Thought it was going to be easy.
Is that right? Is that you? I know I did too. Instead, we're learning new tech. We're overcoming challenges with social media. We're having to put ourselves out there. Some of you might even be facing imposter syndrome, and you're still trying to figure out how to decide if your offer's right, your price is right, all those things.
So knowing what to do, like the strategy, that's only one part. There still is this managing your mind as you're doing all of those things. The doubts, the fears, all of that is part of the battle. And this is a part that nobody is talking about. Sheer determination will not get you there. I tried it, you guys.
I tried it for many years. I thought, oh, the power of positive thinking is all I need. Find a mantra and just say the mantra. Self coaching literally has been the magic to my business and I promise you it will be to yours too. It's been the missing piece. I know how easy it is to get stuck.
Especially in the beginning of your business. Yes, I've been in business for over two decades. But I can't forget what it was like. I remember pulling all nighters, not just sometimes, all the time, Yes, I'm an overachiever I was so proud of working hard on my business.
It seemed like it was such an important thing that It took almost precedence over everything. Can you guys relate? I'm almost ashamed to say that now, that I was making everything else in my life wait because I was working so hard on my business. And the only thing I was trying to do was make myself feel better.
also, I was avoiding doing the thing that would actually grow my business. This is where I want you to think about yourself. By doing all the work, the research, the thinking about your name, doing the branding. Spending so much time on creating a course that you don't actually need yet, all of that, what are you actually avoiding?
And I can nearly bet that you're avoiding feeling uncomfortable about putting yourself out there, about talking to people, about telling people you're a coach, about saying this is how I can help you. Are you interested? That's the part we all want to avoid. So no matter what, *you cannot wish yourself into success.*
*You have to self coach your way there.* No matter what the mantra that you're going to try to believe, if you don't believe it, and if you don't get to the root cause of what's going on, it will not work. So *you don't get a gold star for working hard either. It doesn't put money in the bank. So* many of our clients though, They actually have a hard time getting things done.
Their problem is procrastination. My problem with being an overachiever and probably doing far more than I needed to do, their problem is they don't get things done. They come to me because they're like, I need accountability. I need direction. I need that. Is that you? maybe it's easy for you to not keep a promise to yourself about posting on social media every day.
Maybe you know how badly you want success and you're like, I still can't do it. This is where self coaching comes in handy. Again, I just want to acknowledge, I know you're a coach. I know you're an expert, but maybe you haven't even really thought about this. the most basic thing I'm going to empower you with is to journal.
I know that sounds so crazy. When you are feeling like overwhelmed or stressed or you're procrastinating or you're downstairs doing dishes and laundry when you should be up in your office working, stop for a minute and just write down what's really going on. Try to ask yourself those hard questions as if I was asking them to tell me what you're thinking.
What are you worried about? And then I always say, let's do some fact checking. Let's see if what you're thinking is right. In our coaching calls, I always say, you know, if you come to work with me, I'm going to tell you how it is and I'm going to call you out because if you pay me to help you, I feel like that's my job.
And that's to help you see where you're getting in your own way. So sometimes people will say like, Oh my gosh, nobody is opting in to get my freebie and I have talked about it and nobody wants it. I can't grow my email list. And then we ask the question of, well, how many times have you actually posted?
So this is a question for you *when you say social media isn't working. How many times have you actually posted? What are the facts?* Another challenge is a lot of our clients will come in to work with us, and they'll say I've been posting on social media all the time And then I'll go back to look at their social media, and they have in fact been posting But not once did they ever say I'm a coach I can help you And I want to talk to you get on my calendar so again Are you doing that if you're not doing that
journal about this and ask yourself. Why am I afraid? to say, hey, I'm a coach and I want to help you. Why am I afraid to say, get your name on my counter so I can give you a free coaching session? Why am I not doing that? The only way that you're going to know the answer to these questions is by exploring them.
And then, again, go back and fact check whatever you wrote down. Is it true? Is it true that you've actually made a lot of offers? Is it true that nobody said yes to you? And if nobody said yes to you, how many nobodies? Like, write down the names of all the people that you actually said. Something like this, Hi Debbie, I'm a coach.
I'd love to work with you. You want to work with me? That's like an offer, you guys. Okay, I know you're not going to say it like that, but be onto yourself. The post that you made on social media about being a life coach is not an offer. That's not actually somebody, that's just a post where you say, this is what I'm doing.
So how many times are you doing that? Always check the facts and then just own it. Be like, that's interesting, isn't it? I'm saying like nothing's working when the reality is, I only wrote one email. Or when reality is, four social media posts in a month is not enough. Let's be honest. Let me tell you the four steps.
That you can do even beyond journaling, okay? So if you have an opportunity to jot these things down do it Otherwise come back to this place in the podcast and listen again. So the first thing you can do again is to look at what you're thinking Maybe it's just that one thought and I really want to encourage you.
It is so helpful to actually write it down Versus just thinking about it, Write it down and look at what you just wrote down Okay, so look at what you're thinking And when you write that down, just notice how you feel. Scan your body to see what's going on. What are you thinking? You know, when you're thinking like, I haven't sold anything.
How do you feel? It's like, oh my gosh, even saying that out loud makes me feel terrible. If you're saying that to yourself, you're making yourself feel terrible. So if you're feeling terrible like, I can't sell anything, nobody wants my coaching, and you feel that heaviness, then let's take note of what you're doing while you feel that heaviness.
How productive are you? The email that you wrote or the social media posts that you wrote, is it full of energy and life? Probably not. Did you even do the thing or were you wasting time googling for the one thing that was going to be the tipping point instead of just doing the next thing, right? Chances are you were wasting time scrolling on social media looking for something, looking for an answer, Buffering is what we call that, right? It's like eating the chips on the couch. You guys have heard me say this before. So take a note of what you're doing while you feel that way. It's so easy, you guys, to get sidetracked on this. And I would say at least half the time, half of your week, you're probably wasting time because of something that you're thinking, because of a way that you feel, okay, you feel intimidated, you feel defeated, you feel overwhelmed by the tech.
So then assess and see what is the outcome. When I am saying to myself, I have no clients, nobody pays me anything. What are you actually doing? And then it says it like, am I doing anything to actually change that situation? This alone, you guys, will give you perspective. Only when you have perspective on what you're doing and how you're feeling can you change the way you think.
Okay, this is when you get to pick a different way to feel, and it has to be in alignment with what you think. The other day, I noticed for myself, I was feeling a certain way, and so I grabbed a piece of paper, I typed it up, and I wrote it down.
It says, Everything changes starting today. This is right here in front of me, on my desk, in front of my computer. There's one thing that I've been thinking that has not been serving me, I could have come up with a different statement to sort of shift my perspective and I put it right there, you guys, because right in front of me, if you're not looking on YouTube, right in front of me on my desk so that I could see it because I was like, I need to refocus on that.
I've got this one thought that I'm ruminating on a little bit and it's not helping me. So what is one thing that I could believe that would help me? And I was like, geez, you know, everything is in place. why am I worried about this one small thing when everything else is working? So, I wrote down this one line that I could believe, everything changes starting today.
And then I checked myself, I was like, how do I feel when I say that thing? And it was like butterflies of excitement. So, what could you say? Like, it's possible that it's all working out. Even saying that makes me excited, right? What if you said, it's inevitable? the work and the time and the effort that I'm putting in, these social media posts, these emails, the networking I'm doing, it is inevitable that it's working out.
Check yourself and see how you create energy for yourself because if it is inevitable makes you feel supercharged, then that's your line. Okay, you get yourself in that state where you feel excited. So you want to shift your energy multiple times a day. You'll be in the middle of Doing something and you'll catch yourself on social media wasting time and that's when you do the check and you're like, why am I doing this?
What should I be doing? Then bring yourself back to this place like no, I have a business that I love I am destined to do this. I was born to do this everything that has happened in my life has brought me to this moment. I meant to do this, okay you guys, I'm getting myself excited. That's when you say, everything changes today, starting today, or whatever your line is.
So, what I want you to do is come back to that place over and over and over again. Get that reminder in front of you. You've also heard me talk about this picture of myself, it's like a magazine cover that I have, And it says on it, icon. this is my word of the year, actually.
It just means something to me. Icon. Like, what does an icon do? Every day? Something different than what I was doing before. Okay? So what is it that you have to do to put in front of you to remember? That you are, fierce, that you are a force to be reckoned with, right? That there is no quitting, no stopping, You know that you can overcome anything. The final thing that I want to say is, look at your life and think about all that you have done. I mean, honestly, go back to when you were a kid all the way up to today. Think decades or every few years, whatever it is, every five years, every decade and I did this recently, go back and look and see what you've done.
it's unbelievable when you document what has happened because this is your evidence bank that you're going back to. After you document all that stuff, what I also want you to do is look at the timeline with each of those things.
So, you bought a house. How long did it take you to save for the house? You graduated with your masters. How long did it take you to do that? You lost weight and you built muscle. How long did it take you to do that? Right, you've saved 100, 000. How long did it take you to do that? You guys know where I'm going with this.
I want you to do that so you can also have a mindset shift about how long it's taking you to build your business. That is hurting you when you are saying it is taking too long. It's not working. So get perspective on like, wow, okay, why am I expecting it to happen overnight or even this year?
Because when I look back over the things that I've really done, that I've accomplished, that I'm so proud of, that had lasting results, those things didn't happen overnight. Those things took time and that is the level of commitment that I want you to have to your coaching business. All right? So, self coaching is the key.
I'm going to revisit something else I've talked about on the podcast in case you have not heard this. I have something called the Take 5 Method. If you'll go to debbieshadid.Com/take5, you can grab this download. But it's simple. You don't need to go there if you don't want to. You can do this yourself. I decided, I didn't have a lot of time to be self coaching every single morning, right? I just needed to get to work. So I thought, what could I do to give myself, some self coaching in the morning and in the evening to wrap up my day? So I decided to do this in five minutes. I have five questions, five minutes. I literally set my timer on my iPhone. What I did was I wrote these questions on my notes app and then every day I went I made a copy of the questions.
I pasted it on a new note and I put the date. Then what I would do is I'd set my timer and I would answer the five questions. So decide how you want to feel today. This is intentional. Design of your life, you guys. How do you want to feel today? That's question number one. Remember and restate your goal.
What is your goal? What is it that you want? Okay, get yourself in that feeling. choose one inspired thought you want to believe today that will fuel your goal today. You know what my thought was the other day that I wrote down? Everything changes starting today. And then identify your doubts and decide how you want to think about them.
What do you want to think about the fact that you're saying it's not working? How do you want to shift that? Like it's possible that it is. Look at what it is. Don't just cover it up and avoid it. All right. In the evening, five questions, five minutes.
Here they are. What'd you do today to move yourself closer to the goal? What worked today? What didn't work today? Important questions. This is to identify what got in the way. was I thinking that worked? What inspired feeling, inspired thought? What got me excited? How did I stay on task? Document those things so that you can repeat them tomorrow.
Gratitude for today. Find something that you have gratitude for. We know the studies about gratitude. You guys go to bed with gratitude and you wake up feeling better the next day. Self appreciation. This is a key, the last question of the day. What do you want to document that you appreciate about yourself?
What do you want to document that you appreciate about yourself? All right, that'd be a beautiful way to close your day. So that's the take five method. Again, if you want to go grab it, debbieshadid.com/take5 one last thing before I go, I am so excited. I've been working on something for so long and I'm ready for you to go find out about it.
Okay, debbieshadid.com/quiz I have created a quiz. with personalized custom reports. You can find out what your problem is and why you're not reaching your goal in your business. Literally take the quiz, it will tally up the answers to your quiz, and you will know what to do next.
Alright you guys, have a beautiful, amazing day. Go do your self coaching and do it every day. Make it so that it is literally a habit that you don't break. Let it be part of your life because you're business. Honestly, it's the best thing, that I have done for my business above any other strategy.
Self coaching. Have a beautiful day. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.