Ep 214 - Embracing Change: The Journey of Continuous Self-Improvement with Kristine Rucker
In this episode, we’ll go on a journey of transformation and continuous self-improvement with my life coach, Kristine Rucker, also known as the Arm Coach!
I am thrilled to be turning 60, and what better way to celebrate than by reflecting on the incredible past three years and the creation of Debbie 2.0.
We’ll explore the parallels between building a business and losing weight. From switching niches to embracing a healthier lifestyle, I'll share how setting ambitious goals, mastering time management, and self-coaching have helped me earn more than ever before while creating a boutique lifestyle that allows me to dedicate more quality time to my clients and personal life.
I can't wait to see what the next three years will bring. In my mind, this is just the beginning. So, tune in now and together, we’ll create our most transformative and fulfilling years yet!
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Transcript:
Preview: I think just lack overall, you know, kind of was a theme, but certainly with time, because I think you were thinking about it in like just blocks of like hour, hour, hour, or, you know, 15 minutes here, whatever. So when you're thinking about it and just in terms of increments of minutes and hours and days, we have to start asking ourselves different questions because we all get the same amount of time. So how can I have more quality? Of time, right? How can I serve my clients at a higher level in shorter amount of time? And how could that be a benefit to them?
Intro: Hello, I'm Debbie Shadid, the host of the Life Coach Business Building podcast. If you are ready to have more clients in your life coach business, then you're in the right spot. Each week I'm gonna teach you super simple strategies to grow your business without feeling overwhelmed and without spending money on paid ads. If that sounds interesting. Stick around and let's get started.
Debbie: Okay, welcome to today's podcast. I am so excited because tomorrow is my birthday and I'm going to be 60 years old. And I brought my partner who has been helping me over the year, my life coach, Kristine, really actually more than a year, maybe about 14 months, I think. I think so. You have been helping me become Debbie 2.0. So would you introduce yourself?
Kristine: Yes. I'm Kristine Rucker. I am the arm coach. I help women sculpt their arms so that they can transform their life. So it's super fun. I have some, the most amazing clients and just really loving seeing the transformation that they're getting in their arms and their life. It's been super fun.
Debbie: Yeah. So if you guys are not watching us on YouTube, you should go because Kristine's arms and her shoulders. Yeah, they look really awesome.
Kristine: Anyway, we were just talking about yours. You should do a little flex here, Debbie 2.0.
Debbie: Thank you all to Kristine. So, okay. Let's talk about kind of why this birthday podcast and why I have you here and all the ways that you've helped me. But I want to share a celebration story first, because I started out this morning thinking about this podcast with you, and I was reminded of something that I'm very emotional about at the moment.
That was a goal that I set that I, I don't know, I guess I'll say I crushed it. So I'm going to tell you about it, Kristine, because I don't think, you know, but in April of 21, I certified at the life coach school. Now, keep in mind, I've been in business, as you know, for 20 years already as a business consultant and I was helping women in the wedding business doing the exact same thing that I do today with coaches.
And when I went to the life coach school, Brooke, even though I thought I was in personal development, Brooke introduced me to a lot of things that I had no idea about. One was about possibility. You guys don't know Brooke Castillo from the life coach school. She's awesome. And she talked about making a hundred million dollars a year in her coaching business.
And just about like anything's possible. So I decided at that moment when I was certified, I was like, I love what I'm doing. You know, I had this business that was basically, I'd gotten it built. I moved from in person to online and it was really doing well or so I thought until the word possible came into my mind.
And at the same time, I was like, I really like what I'm doing. And I see an opportunity to help coaches. So in May, three years ago, right after I certified, I had this moment of, you're going to change your business. And I was like, no, everything's good. I've built my business to this point. It's easy. I literally was coaching two hours on Monday evening. It's like pretty good, but it was just like, nope, it's time for more. You don't know what's possible for you.
Kristine: I love it.
Debbie: At 57 on June 1st, three years ago, I decided that I was going to basically shut down my business that I had. I had a very large email list. I had clients, I had a reputation and I was going to coach coaches.
That had to be so scary. Thank God I knew how to coach myself. Yeah. So I decided that between 57 and 60, I was going to make more money in a brand new niche using the process that I was teaching people on how to build and grow their businesses. I was going to do it in my own brand new niche in three years and make more money than I like multiple times more than I had ever made. And I realized this morning I did it.
Kristine: I am not surprised. Congratulations. I am not surprised though. Debbie. That's amazing. That is one thing that I know to be true about you. Once you set your mind to something, you might not know the how, but you do know that you are going after it. You do know that you're going to get there. You have really learned to trust yourself. And I've seen that transformation just in the short time that we've been working together. It's so impressive.
Debbie: Well, I needed your help to conquer the things we're going to talk about today. But Kristine, I, I do, once I get determined on something, I think I have, you know, I have a good work ethic and a deep belief in myself of what I can do.
But again, this goal that I set was far beyond anything that I had ever heard of. But I did think like there were coaches at the life coach school that are making a lot of money. And I was thinking, I'm not any different than them. I can do what they're doing. I have to rebuild a business. But I know how to do that.
Kristine: Well, and that, that in itself, Debbie, is what sets you apart from so many others, because a lot of people wish. For things they wish they could be that person that they hear that makes a million dollars a year, 100,000,000, whatever, but it's a whole nother person that actually will try that will actually do the work and face the fear and go through and you are one of those people. So amazing to see.
Debbie: Well, thank you. I, uh, yeah, you do have to, like I said, self coaching is a beautiful thing. I learned, I don't do life coaching with my clients, but I do a lot of life coaching on myself to go where I want to go.
So, you know, something that I really learned is That one of the concepts that I was teaching in my coaching was, is that you want to create a boutique style business and life, which kind of for the listeners that don't know about this, it's about really creating an elevated personal brand and business that, um, where you serve your ideal client in the way that's best fitting to you.
Most of the clients I work with, aren't looking to make millions of dollars. They want to have something that they're proud of, that they feel really good about, but it also fits their lifestyle. Yeah, and what I realized before I heard you was. I was teaching one thing and doing another thing. So I was telling people to create this boutique lifestyle and you don't have to work that many hours and do the things you want to do.
And I was working seven days a week. So it was like, okay, you got to get a grip on yourself here. That's not the way you want to move forward. And so I knew I needed help, which is where you came into play. I had this idea at the start of last year. So at the start of 2023, it was like, I have to become Debbie 2.0 to get to the next level, which means I have to stop working so hard on my business and start working on myself.
Kristine: Yeah. Trust that I've got my business to a point that I can get Debbie's boutique life figured out. Yeah, and it really, but it really can be a struggle, right? Because your why for your business is so strong, like the love and care that you. Give your clients and the personal attention that you give right and you receive so much from that that sometimes it's hard to just not want to keep giving and giving and giving to your clients, right?
So we had to find a way for you to be able to keep giving that high level. those tight touch points, right? And that high level of service while still, you know, while giving yourself the same. And for you to understand that that is possible for you, you know, what's possible for your clients. Yeah.
Debbie: But you weren't really sure that was possible for you. And we'll talk about time because time has something to do with it, but I'm going to start with hiring you to lose weight because you're the arm coach. But you also help people lose weight. I met you in Miami.
Kristine: We were on a yacht, girlfriend.
Debbie: That's right. We were, we were, weren't we? That sounds pretty aggressive. Yeah. It was through a client. Somebody that was working with me was also your client. And so we met and then I, I got in touch with you and I knew that Debbie 2. 0 needed to lose some weight. I knew that I needed to get in shape. I knew I needed to be sleeping better. I knew I needed to be working less.
I knew I That like, there were just a lot of things that I was suggesting that my clients make a priority that I wasn't doing. And the truth was I was honestly scared to set a goal on any of those. So incomes, Kristine, I meet her and I hire her. So do you want to fill in the details of what I thought about my weight and kind of how this all started?
Kristine: You told me that you saw a picture of yourself and it was at that point that you were like, wait, I've kind of been in a little bit of denial about what's happening and I've been like, just settling, you know, because I, you are very good at presenting yourself. You do have amazing style. You're able to kind of cover up and present yourself in a, and it seemed to be fine.
It was working until then. Right. And then sometimes it takes something like that for you to be like, okay, wait a minute. I do want to address this and I do want to take better care of myself. Right. And you have grandchildren now, right? So you have a really strong why for wanting to be able to do that for yourself.
And so I think too, that was another big thing for us is we really had to step into your why. And once I learned more about your business and more about like how important it is for you to be there for your clients, it was like, we needed to understand that the better care we take of ourselves, the more that we better care we can take of others.
And I think that really was the turning point for you. Once you could apply what you were doing for yourself to your clients, because you're all about how you can help your clients. And so if that makes sense in your brain, and that is part of your why, then it becomes so much easier for you to be able to figure out this part.
Debbie: yeah, so, so true, Kristine, because otherwise you can come up with a lot of excuses of why you don't have time or
Kristine: yeah, well, and there were a lot of excuses, right? I mean, we all have them in certain areas of our lives, and we can really buy into those excuses, right? Because we want to. But once you start, you know, once you have a coach, right, once, you know, and I'm sure that's what you do for your clients, too, right?
I'm sure you hear excuses when you can kind of shine a light on that and be like, listen, okay, you can believe that, but that's not going to get you any closer to your goal, right? That's keeping you stuck, right? So really just having the support, like I know that you do for your clients to just support them in achieving their goal and just making them aware of some things that really they're kind of unconscious to.
So I think that's, you know, Honestly, you did all the work. I think for me, you know, it's been so fun to watch, but just really being able to point out, like, are you sure you want to keep thinking about it this way?
Debbie: Y'all, she's not telling you what she really wants to tell and kind of giggling at, which is my drama going after we, shortly after we started working together, I was going to Mexico for a wedding and I literally spent three weeks coaching with you. I think I'm talking about eating a piece of birthday cake. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, should I, or should I not? And they're going to know. And what are they going to say? It's so interesting. The drama we can drum up over something like a piece of cake.
Kristine: Oh, it's so true though. But honestly though, when you, like, if we switch it to your business, Right. I'm sure you have a lot of clients that have drama over like posting on social media, right. We're all so wrapped up in what other people are going to think like, Oh my gosh, they're going to notice if I'm not having a piece of cake and they're going to question me about it.
And what are they going to think? They're going to think I'm so obsessed with my weight or whatever it is. Right. You see, you see the same things in terms of business. So it's really just kind of untangling all the thoughts like that, that, that we have that really are preventing us from achieving the goal that we want.
Debbie: yeah, I have to tell you, I got on the scale a couple days ago and I've lost 38 pounds.
Kristine: Oh my gosh.
Debbie: Yeah. We're not talking about my weight anymore.
Kristine: I know. Right. That's just incredible. And I can't believe you're going to be 60. Like you are just like, you're so vibrant.
Debbie: I just love it. It is funny for those of you who are close to 60. You remember what you thought 60 was going to be? It's just not that. I know. Anyway, I'm 55. The weight really symbolized, I think all the other things that I had just settled for. And it's hard to complain when your life is good.
And maybe some of you guys that are listening can relate to this. It's like, you know, like you said, Kristine, I could dress myself nice. I had a nice business. What, what did I, you know, I had a nice life. I mean, we have, we have a good life. What am I complaining about? So, but it's not about complaining. It was just like, I just settled for so so. Who wants to live that way? It was really, you know, I just was doing that because I was, didn't want to have to be uncomfortable. That's really what it was.
Kristine: Yeah. But when we dive into that uncomfortableness, most people are already feeling a level of discomfort, right? Knowing that you want something a little more and not going after it, that is uncomfortable.
It really is. And it's not an intense discomfort. It's a low level hum that invades just your everyday life. And so we think we're not uncomfortable, but it really is there. It really is.
Debbie: I was just ignoring it by not saying it out loud. I think just like, again, I love the parallel always between building a business and weight loss. Cause I think people can really get that you've tried and tried and tried. You've made it so hard. And this time I remember I came to you and my thought that I had about myself was, you There is a naturally thin person in this body. This is not the way that I'm supposed to be. And it's like, you could be thinking the same thing about your business.
Now, Kristine, I know you have a successful coaching business yourself, but I mean, for the people listening, it's like, there is a successful coach inside of me. I'm just going to peel back the layers of the onion and I'm going to get there.
Kristine: Yeah. Well, and I think that was really key for you too. Once we landed on that, that I'm a naturally thin woman, then all the decisions that you make from there come from that.
That thought, right? What would a naturally thin woman be eating right now? What would she be thinking right now? What would she be wearing right now? Right. Thought about all this stuff. Right. We did this for a long time. And once you adopted that and believed that and saw that to be true, then all of those decisions just filtered through that framework.
Right. And I know for me with my business, like I am a multi million dollar. And so when I think that thought, like everything filters down through that thought, like what kind of projects would I say yes to, you know, what are the things that I'm going to have to say no to. Right. And I can see that evolution with you, with all of your financial goals and goals for your clients too.
It's like, if this isn't going to serve my client to the highest level and still honor my time commitments. Then that's a no, right? Like we just have these filters that we just set for ourselves from our future self. Then once you think of it from your future self, then the decisions just get a lot easier.
Debbie: Yeah. So after I lost the weight, I was like, maybe I should exercise a little bit. And I, I just told this on a recent podcast, so I'm going to repeat what I said, but I was, um, first decided Kristine, the arm coach, who's, uh, Exercises all the time. It's like, all right, we'll just do it. However you want to do it.
And I'm like, I'm going to lay on the floor and do arm weights first. So it's like a from the floor and I did that for months. And then it was like, okay, I'm going to do the next thing. And so you gave me a workout. And I was doing it, but I was doing it with lightweights and then I joined a gym. And so I felt like that was a little bit more progress.
And that was just a few months ago, but I was still not really. And I thought I was going kind of all in until we met in California and you were like, Put this weight in your hand. Exactly.
Kristine: Try this one. But I think what you said is just so beautiful because isn't that how building a business goes? We're just going for progress. We just start somewhere.
Even doing weight loss in sculpting our arms and building a business. It's all the same. Just start. It doesn't have to be, you're not going for the gold medal, right? We're just getting started. And then you just progressed. As you were ready, right? You just progressed and that's how it goes.
And I know, I know your, your program is so detailed in terms of the progression. Right. And I know you have multiple levels too. So that's what's just so beautiful. You've already had the framework. We just had to apply it to the self.
Debbie: That's right. And, you know, I'm really good at, um, I don't want to set myself up to fail. So it's like, to me, small progress just built on itself, like the compound effect. I'm all about that. That's really how I was able to get, you know, I think this is all worked out as in the past, I would have set a goal like everybody else. I'm going to the gym every day. I didn't do that.
Kristine: And that's, that truly is Debbie, the key to success, right? You have to set yourself up to win, not to fail. And that starts with just baby steps, right? And then you just build on that. And that is, you know, because people become overwhelmed. I'm sure you see it in business too, right? They think they have to have, you know, the website and the social media, you know, all done at once.
Right. And then they get overwhelmed and they quit. So, you know, you have to have a little framework. You have to meet yourself where you are. And you just build from there. So, and that's Debbie 2.0. This is done.
Debbie: The other thing that I want to talk about before we kind of wrap up this little birthday episode is time. So, you know, one of the things that Kristine has literally, and again, my podcast listeners know I've spent a year being coached on time, which sounds so ridiculous when you get coached on something, you get to the other side of it, you're kind of like, why was that a problem? But. With that said again, I was talking to my clients about creating a boutique lifestyle and I was slowly working less and I had my 1st grandchild Lucy and I was taking care of her on Wednesday.
And now we've just had Jack introduced into the picture a couple months ago and I'm going to work less. But also it wasn't just the time of me taking care of them. It was working in the evenings and the weekends. And how do I do that and also amplify the impact that I want to have in my business, because I believe so deeply in what I have to offer, how can I scale and grow my business and work less? So time became an issue in my mind. I don't have time, it was a broken record, right?
Kristine: Well, just, I think just lack overall, you know, kind of was a theme, but certainly with time, because I think you were thinking about it in like just blocks of like hour, hour, hour, or, you know, 15 minutes here, whatever. So when you're thinking about it and just in terms of increments of minutes and hours and days, we have to start asking ourselves different questions because we all get the same amount of time.
So how can I have more quality? Of time, right? How can I serve my clients at a higher level in a shorter amount of time? And how could that be a benefit to them? Do them a benefit for you, Debbie, for sure. It's all about your clients. And you have, in order for it to click for you, you have to, like, how is this going to benefit my clients and me?
So if I can teach these concepts faster in a shorter amount of time and not have to be on five calls a week, how is that going to benefit them? But once you kind of mastered that, and once you started implementing that and seeing that you did have more time, then you became very uncomfortable with having more time because we hadn't resolved that thought of, I need more time. Right? So when you started having more free time, you started filling it up again. Do you remember that?
Debbie: Yes. And the thing was, I remember just the uncomfortable of like, Wait, I'm ending the day at three o'clock. Now what do I do? Yes. I literally did not know what to do because I had time in my schedule. Right? So then we had to start planning that time.
Kristine: Sounds so ridiculous and a little bit more comfortable, but that's the thing. We have these habit thoughts, right? You had a habit thought of, Oh my gosh, I've got so much to do. I don't have enough time. I just, I, there's so many things I want to do for my clients and there's not enough time.
And you just kept ruminating on that over and over instead of asking yourself in a different way. Okay. How can I give my clients better results in a shorter amount of time so they can reach their goals faster? Once you can reframe it like that and give your brain a problem to solve because you weren't solving a problem by ruminating on not having enough time.
You are staying stuck in this, this spin. But when you give it a problem to solve of how can I give my clients faster, better results and shorter time, your brain just goes to work. I think that's when you got fast track. I think that's when you kind of came up with that whole fast track model.
Debbie: It's just so funny because every conversation now that I'm looking back was like, well, yeah, but I don't have enough time. You would, I would say like, I'm going to do this. And then I would say, yeah, but I don't have enough time. You would say, did you hear what you just said again? I mean, you know, we're our own kind of worst enemy, I guess. We block ourselves from having the success we're trying to have, which is why a coach is so valuable.
Kristine: Exactly, exactly. And that, and I know you do a lot of coaching calls with your clients too, but then to just point them out, like, you know, we've talked about this last week, right? This is something that keeps coming up, which happens. Because we have these habit thoughts, we can't just talk about it once and be done, but a coach, a mentor, somebody to kind of hold your hand through these things, right? Just bring so much awareness to some behaviors and patterns of thought that you don't even really know that you have. So, so my gosh,
Debbie: All right. So Debbie 2.0 knows how to manage your weight. She's sleeping better. She's exercising. Oh, and I just added. Walking more every single day. That's another add on.
Kristine: Which I love seeing on your Instagram, by the way, your Instagram stories. I look forward to those. I hope you keep those up. Walk and talk with Debbie is getting its own little highlight spot.
Debbie: That's amazing. I think we will. So yeah, that was just something to get over to Kristine, because honestly, I didn't want to not be dressed up all the time. That's why I didn't want to go do that. Cause I might not have my red lipstick on. Well, I think you still are the ones that I see. I think you still do. Yeah. Well, I, you know, not quite like this in my setup. So, oh my gosh, amazing. It's anyway. So yeah, and lots of changes coming to my business and I just can't, I mean, really Kristine, thank you enough for the support that you've given me, how you've helped me. I can't wait to see a year from now, I'm going to have you back and I can't wait to see what happens between 60 and 61. In my mind, it is just all beginning.
Kristine: Well, it's so fun to watch you crushing your goals. It's amazing. So inspirational. Thank you. Wishing you the happiest birthday, Debbie. Oh my gosh.
Debbie: Thank you. Thank you. All right, you guys have an amazing week. Get with Kristine. I will leave her link here so that you guys can hire her to have some arms. All right. Bye bye.
Outro: Okay, ladies, that is it for today. Before we go, I want to invite you to head over to debbieshadid.com. I have this incredible Canva training, specifically designed for life coaches where I'm gonna teach you how to use Canva to create beautiful graphics to market your life coaching. All right. Have an amazing week. I'll talk to you very soon. Bye bye.